Archive for October, 2008


Fresh Start

October 20, 2008

Hello again, anonymous internet readers,

Somehow you’ve managed to make your way back here. I must have been sidetracked by the entire major league baseball season, because the last time I updated was the first week of April. That was way back when I triumphantly declared the Rays a greatly improved team, on the verge of breaking out (while also declaring they would finish fourth and around .500). Half correct, right? I also decided the Yankees starting rotation was stronger than anyone else seemed to think, and perhaps I was half right on that too, particularly since most of the problems came out of injuries to everyone not named Mike Mussina. So, one half plus one half equals one, meaning I was 100% correct, as usual.
To complete the circle, I’ve come up with a new title for this whole setup. I initially wanted “Whitey Whackers,” but the google results were more than unwholesome. I feel the new one full grasps both my appreciation of insane baseball players and my love of dinosaurs.
So as for news in the stick and ball sport, the Rays and Phillies are about to begin a series that Bud Selig will likely describe as a lethal injection to baseball’s tv ratings. This is hardly the proper attitude! There are three wonderful things that came out of the LCS results heading into this World Series. First, bandwagon Rays fans are a wonderful concept. Second, Charlie Manuel and Joe Maddon prove that managers are overrated, and either team could have been led just as well by a fairly intelligent primate or Deep Blue. And most importantly, it proved the existence of God by preventing the media shit-storm that would have ensued if the L.A. Manny Ramirez’ had to play Boston in the series.
If all goes to plan I will add to this contraption at least once a week, starting sometime before Wednesday night with a thought provoking and intelligent World Series Preview. If the plans go to hell as usual I’ll just copy and paste a Skip Bayless article and pass it off as satire. Taking everything he says as sarcastic makes him seem almost intelligent.
Enjoy ELECTION FEVER everyone.